Thursday, July 12, 2007

Just Journaling

I'm just journaling today. This is very therapeutic. I was diagnosed almost 13 years ago with multiple sclerosis (MS) - it was a devasting blow to me. I was allways pretty active - not to an extreme! But I walked, I took the bus, the train, I biked, I climbed stairs, ladders, etc. And for months before I went to the doctor and probably years, if I look back far enough, I had days where I couldn't. I always just blamed it on fatigue or laziness even! But then things starting happening. I had blurred vision, stumbling for no reason, muscle movements I didn't start and could not control. Well after a bit of stuff with this doctor, that doctor, this specialist, that specialist, it was decided that I had MS. Now I have what is called relapsing, remitting MS. I have periods where you would never know I have a problem. Then I CRASH! And it's bad! Well in all of this - one of the things that was suggested to me was to move from Massachusetts to somewhere warmer and possibly healthier for me. And to get a less stressful job! YEAH RIGHT! Well we did it! We moved to Tennessee. Now I still have good and bad times, but I am not stressed with work anymore - trust me - this place is a cake walk compared to places I have worked. While I do have issues with my MS, I'm dealing with it. Then a year ago, the osteoarthritis got diagnosed. I said God why me? Well, I know I shouldn't have asked that - but then again, who doesn't ask? So I'm dealing with all of it and some days I want to chuck it. And some days I want to just stay in the chair or in the bed and cry. Today is a good day, yesterday was a bad day. They are more frequently bad than good - but I keep going. Not exactly the energizer bunny, but I'm trying! The reason I'm journalling all this today, is that I'm depressed about feeling in pain and want to do something about it. I'm looking for ways to exercise and work out some of the pain. Any one got any help for me? I'm overweight and can't move for long periods of time and need to do this in the morning in short time spurts do to my work schedule.

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